A Travellerspoint blog

Entries about understanding

I Know You Care

rain 23 °C

I know you care
I feel it all around me
When I am near or far
It extends any distance
Winding its way across oceans
Through narrow dimly lit roads
Through the cracks in the pavement
Through the cracks in those cracks

Slipping under my door
Your warmth lights my world
I close the door sometimes, not to keep others out
But to reinforce a state of security I am lacking within myself
I cover up the cracks in my brick walls with brightly coloured pictures
Not just for the mental escape they offer me
But to disguise the fact that I am living within the confines of these walls
Too scared?
Too worried?
Not afraid of who I am, but afraid of the person I have lost

I feel so free some days
Like I can do anything
Conquer every fear I’ve ever had
But my biggest fear is not heights, nor strangers, not even falling
But the fear of being forgotten
Of being left behind

Will you remember me after I tell you my name?
Will you remember my name after you forget my face?
Plunged into darkness
Sometimes I feel alone and scared
Sometimes I feel weak and inferior

But it is your light
Your warmth
Your love
That chases those shadows away
Once again I am free
Untouchable
Nothing can stop me

Without your light I do not know which abyss I could have disappeared into
Even when I was standing on the edge
Losing my balance
Your light guided me

Please know I care
There might be mountains and oceans between us
Or perhaps a gentle stream
You are the air beneath my wings
And with your light
I am free.

Posted by missadelaide 01:10 Archived in Australia Tagged friends life light family love power free scared positive understanding Comments (0)

Sing Me To Sleep

sunny 28 °C

==="Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I’m tired and I want to go to bed
I don’t want to wake up on my own anymore"
Asleep - The Smiths===

The novelty has vanished
Here I am
I am me
But not the same
Quite a different me in fact
Yet you look at me the same
My inner self screams
‘don’t you notice the difference?’
But no
Of course you don’t
The change is all in my head
An invisible, powerful force
With strength it has led me this far
But now what?
I look around
Trying to detect that same force within someone else
But no
They’re all different
Different colours, shapes and strengths
We converse
But no
You still don’t see it

Like another star in the sky
Though I thought it shone more brightly?
You look into the night
‘ah yes, there it is…’
Blatantly oblivious
Instead, captivated by another
I look up at the stars
Each glimmering in a unique way

The moon stands proudly amongst them
‘oh dear moon, you can see it can’t you?’
He is busy with others
He stands strong and powerfully
High in the night sky
His exterior glimmering brightest of all
Like sunshine beaming off of a mirror
I glance at my reflection

Same hair
Same eyes
Same tounge
This is what everyone else sees
But my hair has danced upon many a breeze
My eyes have witnessed such incredible things
My tounge is hungry for the spices of life
I guess no one else can see it

It is mine
As I look around
Everyone’s force is unique
Some are similar colours and shapes
But all in all, different
Maybe one day someone will see some of my colour
Or some shapes

But it is something that is mine
I am here
I am me
Yes the novelty has worn off
Until my next journey
For now, I’m just tired
I look up at the glorious moon once more
A part of me wanting to talk
A part of me is already asleep
Sing me to sleep

Posted by missadelaide 02:22 Archived in Australia Tagged home strange live moon asleep stars reality understanding move_on Comments (0)

This Is The Rhythm Of The Night

Brilliant Bavaria

overcast 3 °C

=="Rhythm is a dancer, it's the souls companion"==

Sometimes, all you need is a breath of fresh air to re-ignite that passion, motivate your actions and clear your mind, and what better way to escape than jet setting across Europe to the traditional and beautiful city of Munich.

I tend not to write about my travels, however, the past 96 hours have been so revolutionary, mind blowing and incredible that there's no way I couldn't... and now I am back home, exhausted from a very full on weekend eating pretzels, bratwurst, drinking steins and diving into the culture of Munich, I realise just how lucky I am.

So, Thursday morning, my travel buddy and best friend, Jess, and I embarked on our journey. Tube, bus, plane and we were in Munich, Germany!
Thankfully Jess speaks and understands German, whereas I on the other hand know, [i]hallo, ja, nein, danke,[i]... and that's about it, but I was ready to take it all on.
Our hostel was right near the main train station, The Euro Youth Hostel, which I would highly recommend to anyone travelling to Munich. They have comfortable beds, large rooms, hot showers and an awesome bar which we got much too friendly with.
After a quick unpack and gaining our orientation we burst out onto the cold street in search of food and adventure.
Only a quick stroll to the Marienplatz, we were in the centre of the city where Christmas was lingering in the air. Beautiful lights flooded the street and we wondered down the cobblestone path to the Rathaus, a spectacular building with a glockenspiel and clock tower. I bet the Germans play a game called spot the tourist infront of the Rathaus, as we eagerly anticipated the chiming of the bells and movement of the figures in the tower as the clock struck 6... little did we know it only goes off once at mid day, so after a few minutes we awkwardly put our cameras away and kept walking. I swear some guys behind us shared a giggle amongst themselves.
We walked up and down the Marienplatz in search of reasonably priced food. As we were almost about to give up hope, we found what seemed a hidden restaurant. Behind a heavy iron door and down some stairs was the bustle of a cute restaurant/drinking hall which our stomach's couldn't ignore. Sharing a table with a cute elderly German couple and old sleazy Austrian men, we had beer, pretzels, bratwurst and saurkraut. Oh, and believe it or not, the Austrian men pulled the classic German joke, "ah, you are hungry for German sausage?" We awkwardly laughed, finished our drinks, said Auf Wiedersehen and left.
The icy air chased us back to our hostel and we took refuge at the bar. We were both extremely tired so we ordered two soft drinks before two
Australian's (seriously I swear we're everywhere) questioned our choice of beverage and before we knew it, we had downed 2 cocktails and 2 bottles of prosecco between us. Whoops!
We stumbled to bed and knew that this weekend was going to be amazing!

We woke on Friday, slightly hungover, extremely hungry and even more adventurous... so we downed some water and manned up to face the day. Now where else do you go in search of hearty German food in Munich but the Hoftbrau Haus, and boy did that deliver. I had some Ox Goulash which was absolutely amazing and we tried to have a stein but our stomach's were still slightly unsettled from the previous night, so we settled for 1/2L Radler (beer with lemonade) which I still couldn't finish! =( At least I tried haha
Extremely satisfied we retreated to the hostel for a nanna nap = pure bliss
After our much needed sleep, we got pumped up for BASTILLE!
[Quick side note* For those of you who don't know Bastille, go and download their album right now. It will be the best thing you've ever done for your ears. Oh and the lead singer, Dan, we're engaged, he just doesn't know it yet]
We headed out to the venue where we befriended a cute German couple, Tom and Christine who helped us with directions and we hung out with during the show.
Words honestly do not do it justice. They were AMAZINGINGLY INCREDIBLE!!!! His voice is literally hyptnotising.
As soon as he played the opening chords to Overjoyed, my favourite song, I literally broke down crying. It was so moving to experience such musicality and passion coming from one person's mouth/heart. By far they are a million times better in concert than on their CD.
Also, the fact that we made friends with people around us, really does determine how music brings people together, where language isn't a barrier and together we are unified through incredible music.
On a massive adrenaline/emotional high, we headed back to the city, contemplating life as one does after experiencing something so moving, before crashing into bed.

Saturday was an absolutely miserable day, cold, windy and raining, which was fit for our destination, Dachau.
All throughout school I have studied WWII and the Holocaust but no amount of notes, facts, stories or videos could ever prepare me for the pure sickness I felt walking through the gates thousands of Jews walked through 70 odd years ago.
Even as I write this, I feel sick, reminded of the complete emptiness I felt. Tears flooded from my eyes as a pure emotional response to being there, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I won't continue, you know what's there and what happened, but even still I just cannot possibly imagine what it would have been like.
The strangest thing was the contrasting beauty of the surrounding area. The trees were beautiful oranges, reds and golds and leaves smothered the earth and alongside the perimeter is a beautiful stream. I guess that's Mother Nature's way of reminding us that there is still beauty in the earth despite all the horrendous acts mankind inflicts on one another.
I feel like I will never forget my time there, I never could.

Upon our return to the city, to lighten our spirits, Jess and I did the most joyful, childish, happy thing one can do in winter in Munich, we went ice skating! Ah! We had an absolute ball! Although I somewhat resembled a baby giraffe taking its first steps, I managed not to fall over and actually make it around the rink whilst children zoomed past. After the biggest work out we've had in a long time, we skated until our legs shook and our cheeks ached from laughing, we engaged in some apres ski tradition.
We met up with a friend of mine who took us to a local pub where I finally did it... drank 1L of beer!!! Ta DAAAAA
And devoured an amazing dinner. We drank, ate and chatted for hours before we were given a first class guided tour of the back streets of Munich before getting lost and saturated by the icy rain.
After a lovely meal and drinking sesh we called it a night.
Emotionally and physically drained we slept like logs.

Which brings me to now. Back in London. Same old house, same old room, but definitely a different me.
Munich really is an incredible city which has so much to offer. The thing I love most about it is the vibe. It's not like other big cities, London, Paris or Rome, still bustling but in its unique way, maintaining a strong Bavarian traditional flavour making you feel as though you are experiencing the true Germany. The combination of incredible food and beer, music, history, culture, friendships and adventure was perfect and really made me open my eyes and heart, changing something within me.
I had one of the best weekends of my life and with only 2 weeks left of work before my next adventure, I am hungry for more.

xxx
A

Posted by missadelaide 09:17 Archived in Germany Tagged beer winter history germany music love europe adventures amazing ice_skating cold munich bavaria bastille dachau pretzels steins euros understanding weekends best_friends life_changing Comments (0)

The Heart - The High and The Hurt

Everything Happens For a Reason

rain 10 °C

If your heart is just a muscle that pumps blood through your body, then why does it feel like it's shattering within you when something bad happens or feels like it's going to escape through your chest when when you're escatic?
I'm a very emotional, expressive person who is a hopeless romantic, who may have fairytale like dreams, but I believe they will come true. I also know that everything happens for a reason. Because without the storm, the sun would not shine as bright.

The heart is like the ocean, forever changing, moving and growing....
With every wave that crashes on the shore, to every storm that sweeps the sea... a tiny emotion dapples the surface, a rippling effect flushes through your heart and your entire body until you are overcome by a feeling.

We are sometimes torn between our heart and our head. Mr Brain speaks with reason, logic and intellect whereas Miss Heartbeat sings with emotion and passion, two voices that clash somewhere in the bottom of your stomach that makes you feel sick when trying to decide what to do.
I am often torn between these two voices, each just as valuable as the other... however I believe in life, the ultimate goal is to be happy, and you obtain happiness by doing and getting things that you truly want and desire which are the notes that often flow from the heart.

My heart is still young and growing. I'm still figuring out who I am, who I want to be and what I want in life. But I do have big goals, dreams and aspirations and though the path to happiness may not always be clear, I follow my heart and I know I cannot get lost.
Being away from home, my heart has experienced the coldness of the darkest depths of the Pacific to the warm, shining tides of the Mediterranean, but I feel that each experience helps your heart grow and learn, making you stronger and wiser for the next wave you catch.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

I have so many big goals and dreams I want to achieve. And I know I can. And I know it won't be easy, it's not supposed to be.
In this moment, a wave of motivation floods through my body, as I ride this wave who know where it will take me, what paths I will cross, who I will meet and what I will do, but I know it will be an adventure and my heart leaps out of my chest at the very thought.

xxx
A

Posted by missadelaide 13:37 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged london ocean travel adventure love road change explore heart future paths passion learning healing understanding wisdom destiny Comments (0)

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