A Travellerspoint blog

Entries about light

I Know You Care

rain 23 °C

I know you care
I feel it all around me
When I am near or far
It extends any distance
Winding its way across oceans
Through narrow dimly lit roads
Through the cracks in the pavement
Through the cracks in those cracks

Slipping under my door
Your warmth lights my world
I close the door sometimes, not to keep others out
But to reinforce a state of security I am lacking within myself
I cover up the cracks in my brick walls with brightly coloured pictures
Not just for the mental escape they offer me
But to disguise the fact that I am living within the confines of these walls
Too scared?
Too worried?
Not afraid of who I am, but afraid of the person I have lost

I feel so free some days
Like I can do anything
Conquer every fear I’ve ever had
But my biggest fear is not heights, nor strangers, not even falling
But the fear of being forgotten
Of being left behind

Will you remember me after I tell you my name?
Will you remember my name after you forget my face?
Plunged into darkness
Sometimes I feel alone and scared
Sometimes I feel weak and inferior

But it is your light
Your warmth
Your love
That chases those shadows away
Once again I am free
Untouchable
Nothing can stop me

Without your light I do not know which abyss I could have disappeared into
Even when I was standing on the edge
Losing my balance
Your light guided me

Please know I care
There might be mountains and oceans between us
Or perhaps a gentle stream
You are the air beneath my wings
And with your light
I am free.

Posted by missadelaide 01:10 Archived in Australia Tagged friends life light family love power free scared positive understanding Comments (0)

I See Stars

"Do we gaze at the stars because we are human? Or are we human, because we gaze at the stars?"

sunny 21 °C

I crept outside under the cover of darkness
My feet gently brushing the dewy grass
The moon dimly glowed low on the horizon
My eyes were still adjusting to the darkness
The whisper of the ocean caressed the sand and my ears
A salty sweet breeze glided through my hair as I made my way to the waters edge

I sat amongst the sand
A warmth still buried with them after the radiant sunshine had set
I brushed my hands through the infinite grains
Soft and sparkling in the moonlight
I gazed up towards the sky and my breath was whisked away in the breeze

I slowly layed down allowing my body to be consumed by the earth
Thousands of stars shone brightly like diamonds against a black sea
They twinkled so daintily across the Milky Way
They were telling me their stories as I gazed into the past
I listened intently, captivated by their adventures
Their were more voices appearing

My eyes adjusted to the dark and could see nothing but their magnificent glow
I tried to look beyond them, into the blackness
I kept looking and looking and it just kept going and going
I can't even comprehend the vastness of eternity
How many millions of years they've lived
How many people they've looked down at, looking up at them?
For answers, love, life, support and freedom
How many of those wishes have they granted?

My whole body relaxed into the warm embrace of the exquisite Mother
I could see her shimmering eyes looking into mine
Hear her wisdom
Feel her warmth
And I know she'll always be with me

As I write the next chapter of my life
Filled with adventure, anxiety, stress, excitement and the unknown,
It gives me strength knowing that there will always be one stable element in my life
And that is the unconditional love from my family and the sublime nature surrounding me.

xxx
A

Posted by missadelaide 22:01 Archived in Australia Tagged nature beach adventure happy sand light love moon beauty questions answers peace mind stars wishes dreams sanity Comments (0)

Awakening

Life and the Ocean

sunny 28 °C

==“For whatever we lose, It’s always our self we find in the sea.” e. e. Cummings==

5 and a half months… 155 days… 3720 hours… 13 392 000 seconds… since I had felt the gently touch of the oceans waves upon my flesh.
To me, the ocean is life. It is a living being that exists so delicately yet powerfully. The last time I was at the beach was on our summer vacation in Zante 6 months ago. Absolutely beautiful, but absolutely nothing, not even the Greek Isles compare to the beaches surrounding my home town, and I was so anxious to be there as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, over cast weather welcomed me back home, and I was hanging out for the sunshine to make its grand appearance. I guess I’d already waited 6 months, another few days wouldn’t hurt right? Before long, I was awoken early one morning to the sun’s rays creeping through my window and a gentle sea breeze calling my name.

My family and I ran across the road and down to our little beach which was absolutely perfection. I felt the sunshine on my near transparent skin, warmth flooding throughout my body. The tiny grains of sand tickled my toes and the salty breeze ran through my hair. I skipped across rocks, shells and seaweed until I reached the waters edge. The cold water invigorated my body making every hair on the nape of my neck stand on end. I ventured out into the ocean, the water climbing its way upwards. There was a gently wave rolling into the bay. I held my breath and dived under the wave, its energy rolling over me. Under the water I could hear the wonderful explosion of the wave as it crashed on the shore.

I emerged from the depths, water stinging my eyes. I smiled. Since returning home, my mind had been clouded with doubt and worry. But this is where everything in life just makes sense. For a minute you can escape life and float along the surface. Feeling the sun on your face and the surreal beauty of weightlessness. Your ears fill with water and you can just hear your heart beat in your chest and focus on your breathing. Slowly, I moved my hands and glided across the water, eyes closed and mind open. I let the sea take me away for a minute. In this moment, everything is simple. Everything makes sense. And you forget about your worries. The waters power rushes through my body and suddenly I’ve got power and meaning again. I stand up. Water drains from my ears and the sound of life swarms back around me. I walk towards the shore, the hot sand prickling my feet.

For the first time since being home, I actually feel home. London will always be a special kind of home, one that I created for myself, but definitely one I couldn’t live in for the rest of my life. As long as I’ve got sunshine on my face, the love of people around me in my heart and the wise voice of the ocean in my ear, I’ll be happy. Oh and just to put it out there, my tan is coming along quite nicely.

Xxx

A

Posted by missadelaide 21:31 Archived in Australia Tagged water home ocean beach waves summer life light paradise love sunshine energy peace heart pure crash Comments (0)

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