Entries about crash

==“For whatever we lose, It’s always our self we find in the sea.” e. e. Cummings==

5 and a half months… 155 days… 3720 hours… 13 392 000 seconds… since I had felt the gently touch of the oceans waves upon my flesh.
To me, the ocean is life. It is a living being that exists so delicately yet powerfully. The last time I was at the beach was on our summer vacation in Zante 6 months ago. Absolutely beautiful, but absolutely nothing, not even the Greek Isles compare to the beaches surrounding my home town, and I was so anxious to be there as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, over cast weather welcomed me back home, and I was hanging out for the sunshine to make its grand appearance. I guess I’d already waited 6 months, another few days wouldn’t hurt right? Before long, I was awoken early one morning to the sun’s rays creeping through my window and a gentle sea breeze calling my name.

My family and I ran across the road and down to our little beach which was absolutely perfection. I felt the sunshine on my near transparent skin, warmth flooding throughout my body. The tiny grains of sand tickled my toes and the salty breeze ran through my hair. I skipped across rocks, shells and seaweed until I reached the waters edge. The cold water invigorated my body making every hair on the nape of my neck stand on end. I ventured out into the ocean, the water climbing its way upwards. There was a gently wave rolling into the bay. I held my breath and dived under the wave, its energy rolling over me. Under the water I could hear the wonderful explosion of the wave as it crashed on the shore.

I emerged from the depths, water stinging my eyes. I smiled. Since returning home, my mind had been clouded with doubt and worry. But this is where everything in life just makes sense. For a minute you can escape life and float along the surface. Feeling the sun on your face and the surreal beauty of weightlessness. Your ears fill with water and you can just hear your heart beat in your chest and focus on your breathing. Slowly, I moved my hands and glided across the water, eyes closed and mind open. I let the sea take me away for a minute. In this moment, everything is simple. Everything makes sense. And you forget about your worries. The waters power rushes through my body and suddenly I’ve got power and meaning again. I stand up. Water drains from my ears and the sound of life swarms back around me. I walk towards the shore, the hot sand prickling my feet.

For the first time since being home, I actually feel home. London will always be a special kind of home, one that I created for myself, but definitely one I couldn’t live in for the rest of my life. As long as I’ve got sunshine on my face, the love of people around me in my heart and the wise voice of the ocean in my ear, I’ll be happy. Oh and just to put it out there, my tan is coming along quite nicely.

Xxx

A